Waking Up
by HOAWhovian17
Summary: Beckett wakes up in the hospital after the events of the season 3 finale and immediately asks for Castle. AU to the fourth season premire as well as the whole of the rest of the season I guess.
1. Chapter 1

** Summary: Beckett wakes up in the hospital after the season 3 finale. This would be an AU to the beginning of the fourth season or well mostly the whole of the fourth season. **

** Author's Note: This is the first Castle fanfiction that I've published so if I get anything of Beckett or Castle's characteristics wrong or they seem a little out of character I apologize. I'm not the best at seeing characters completely. Please tell me if I have gotten anything wrong or you see any mistakes I have made. Much appreciated.**

** Disclaimer: Other than the first two seasons of Castle and the first four Nikki Heat books, anything relating to Castle is not mine. That belongs to the network and Andrew Marlow. **

** Hope you all enjoy and please do tell me if I have made any mistakes in this story as it is a learning process for me. **

** XOXO**

The first thing she sees when she wakes up is the blinding white of the hospital walls around her reflecting from the mid-day sun. She blinks slowly, trying to compose herself and get the stinging out of her eyes before opening them fully and looking around. She doesn't realize until she feels disappointment spread through her at the sight of her boyfriend that she was looking for someone. "Kate," he says happily, moving from where he stood in front of the window watching the traffic five floors below and pulling up a chair to her bedside and reaching for her hand.

He sounds so relieved, so grateful to see her eyes open, to see her chest rise and fall showing her breathing that she almost hates what she's about to ask for, who she's about to ask for, because she knows that this will make every jealous thought he'd had concrete in his mind. "Castle," is all she can say for the moment. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath through her mouth and tries to get rid of the dryness in her throat before repeating, "Where's…Rick?" she asked, looking around again. She finds it funny that a large part of her is thinking that he's going to jump out of the bathroom and yell 'surprise'. She didn't know how long she'd been out for, but she found herself missing him so very, very much.

"Why…why do you want Castle?" Josh asked, frowning and his eyebrows furrowing. He looked a little pale and she wondered if it was more from fear for her or him holding into his anger at her asking for another man the minute she wakes up.

"Just…get…me…Castle," she demands, putting more force behind her words.

Josh looks like he's about to argue, but nods and stands up, telling her he'd be back in a minute. She looks over herself, noticing that there were multiple wires attached to her arms, but upon moving them, she found she had enough mobility of them to reach for him when he came in.

Beckett could hear the tick-tock of the clock marking every second that Castle wasn't there and it made her worried. Did he want to see her? The last bit of awareness she had was him telling her he loved her and it filled her with a feeling she hadn't had in a long time, possibly never if she was honest. It made her feel both giddy and worried. If she told him about this feeling she had would he reject her thinking that it was only out of pity or because she was hyped up on drugs? Would they both jump headfirst into something that could, upon further inspection, could go so wrong and destroy their solid, somewhat rocky, partnership?

She didn't have any more time to worry because at that moment when she's starting to get really scared and regret asking Josh to get him for her, when the door opens and Rick pops his head past the door with a hesitant smile. "Hey," she said, feeling her smile spread across her face.

"Hey, you," he replied, walking in and carrying a bouquet of flowers. She smiled and reached out for him and she saw his face light up as he bound over to her and wrapped his arms lightly around her, "I'm so glad you're safe," he whispered in her ear, kissing the side of her head.

Kate breathed him in deeply, allowing herself to be swallowed in the scent that, even a few feet or even inches away, she thought of as purely Castle and held him tighter, "You're still here," she whispered back, noticing the wonderment in her own voice. She didn't even realize that part of her had thought he'd have left her.

Castle pulled back and looked at her with indignant shock on his face with a little bit of teasing, "Katherine Beckett, did you actually think I'd have left you?" he asked, pulling up a chair to the side of her bed and reaching for her hand, "I'm not going anywhere any time soon," he promised.

Beckett smiled, squeezing his hand tightly in hers, not looking away from his clear, sparkling blue eyes. She had never noticed how blue they were until this moment. It was like they were the bluest of blue skies on a clear day or like a swimming pool that went on forever. She almost felt herself get lost in them when she heard someone clear their throat near the door. She looked up and felt herself blush when she realized Josh was still there, having seen everything.

"I need to check on a few of my patients. I'll be back in about an hour or an hour and a half, alright?" he promised, but it sounded more like a threat; like he was warning Castle to get the hell out of there before he got back and that Beckett was his. She hated it, the whole damn male prerogative of 'marking their territory'.

The door closed behind Josh and she and Castle sat in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say, but it was a comfortable silence. They didn't need to say anything and were both happy the other was there.

Castle stood up, moving over to look out of the window at the New York sights and sounds, and Beckett felt her eyes drawn to following him. She couldn't help but think of every moment leading up to this. Of every missed opportunity from Demming to Josh to her almost trip with Castle to the Hamptons as well as his relationship with Gina to all the times a case very well could have gone wrong and she could have lost him or he could have lost her.

"Did you mean it?" she asked without thinking.

When the words were finally out of her mouth and Castle was looking at her with wide eyes that held a small spark in them of shock as he moved closer to her, "What?" he asked, still standing near the window but only a few feet from her now.

"Did…did you mean it? When you said…when you said you loved me?" she asked, biting her lip in fear. She could feel it: this was the moment that would change everything no matter what was said or done.

Castle smiled and walked over to the bedside, sitting in his recently vacated chair again and reaching for her hand. He brought it to his lips and gently kissed the palm of her hand, holding it tightly in his, "Of course," he said quietly.

Beckett could feel the ridiculous smile spreading across her face as she gripped his hand and gently jerked his arm, patting the space on the bed beside her. Castle moved to his new space and gently reached for Beckett, mindful of the wires and the bruising she surely sustained, and pulled her towards him, "I love you, Katherine Beckett," he whispered in her ear.

Beckett closed her eyes, pressing her face into the crook of his neck, "I love you too, Richard Castle," she muttered.

Castle held her closer and buried his head in the crook of her neck, threading his fingers through her hair and breathing her in, "God, you scared me Kate. I thought I'd lost you," he breathed.

"Never," she swore, though she knew it was half of an empty promise. They both knew in their hearts that this very well could happen again. That one of them could lose the other with just a stray bullet or a chase gone wrong. "We'll be alright," she promised.

Castle nodded and kissed the side of her head. Kate didn't know how long they sat there, but after a while, Castle stood up and kissed her forehead, "I should be going. Josh will be back soon and I believe you two have a conversation you need to have," he teased.

Beckett nodded, "I'll tell him," she promised reaching for his hand and kissing the palm of his hand, "just come back later, alright?" she asked.

Castle saw the small frown replace her previously content smile and her eyes lose their sparkle, "I'll be back around seven, alright?" he asked. Beckett nodded and released his hand, watching him walk out the door with a small smile and a wave after him.

About ten minutes later, Josh walked back through the door with a frown on his face until he saw Beckett was alone again. "Hey, beautiful," he said, sitting in the chair Castle had previously vacated.

Beckett felt a coldness seep in her bones when he sat in Castle's chair and smiled as best she could. "Hey," she muttered, pushing a strand of her wayward hair behind her ear. She only then realized how bad she must look.

Josh looked at her for a moment as if he were seeing straight through her and could tell every secret she had when he sighed, "What is it?" he asked. She could see him tense up as he expected the blow that would break their relationship.

Beckett knew she didn't have to say it fully, but still tried to give him a small smile, "I'm sorry," she muttered.

Josh sighed, "I'd be crazy and blind if I said I hadn't expected it," he said, shrugging.

Beckett nodded, "I…I don't know how I can explain this. It just…," she frowned, biting her lip as she tried to find the right words.

"It's you and Castle. It always has been and always will. Nothing can get between you two. I realized that a bit into this relationship, but…I didn't want to admit it. I wanted to hold onto you for as long as I could," he explained.

Kate felt her heart fall into the pit of her stomach and all she could repeat was how sorry she was. Josh nodded and with a final kiss to her forehead, he left the room. At that moment, she felt guilty, but also so much lighter. Like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulder.

She moved back to nestle into the hospital bed as best she could and pulled the blanket closer before closing her eyes and falling asleep with a smile on her face.


	2. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

**Due to the great response I've gotten from this story, I have decided to continue. I don't know how many chapters the story will have, but I'm going to just go where the plot takes me. I have somewhat of an idea where I want it to go, but thinking the story could go one way and actually writing it is another. But, I know one plot twist I want to do and I'll see how I can incorporate it.**

**But, other than the plot twist, and maybe another I'm thinking of adding, I'm incorporating some of my favorites of season 4 (Cops and Robbers being one I know I want to use as well as a little bit of Always), so just…stay patient with me please? I don't know how often I will be able to update the story, so again please be patient. **

**Thanks XOXO**

**P.S. and by the way, thank you for how many of you have favorite and followed and reviewed. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. **


	3. Chapter 2

**Second chapter in one day. I had the ending of this chapter in mind as one of the plot twists and I had originally planned on putting it off until later, but apparently I was taken over and put this as the end of this chapter. Enjoy XOXO**

**P.S. sorry if it isn't as great as the first chapter. I'm not used to writing multi-chapter stories, only one-shots usually. But just bare with me people. I promise I'll try to make it worth your while. **

She was starting to get cabin fever being cooped up in the hospital for the past few days, the doctor though seeing that she seemed to be doing well still wanting to keep her under observation for another two days after her first week in the hospital, but was finally happy to be released on an early June morning. The sun was rising, shining brilliantly against the New York backdrop and she felt like it was a metaphor for herself. She had gone in as one person, guarded against a man that now held her entire heart and saddened by the loss of a great friend and mentor as well as her own mother, and now she felt…whole wasn't exactly the word. She still didn't know who was behind the murder of her mother and now her Captain but she was refreshed and ready as hell to find out who did. She had a score to even and she knew that even when she drove them crazy, Rick, Espo, and Ryan would have her back no matter what.

When she had finalized the discharge papers and gotten into her normal clothes of jeans and a t-shirt with her, what Rick had called once or twice her 'killer' heels, she walked out into the hallway only to find Josh standing at the desk. "Good morning, Kate," he said as level as he could. She could still hear the hurt in his voice from the breakup, but she had to ignore it. She couldn't let herself feel guilty for being happy.

"Kate," she heard down the hallway. Beckett turned to see Castle stepping out of the elevator with a 'get well soon' balloon and a bouquet of roses. She smiled widely, feeling as giddy as a school girl as she walked over to him and hugged him tightly, "I thought you weren't getting out until tomorrow?" he asked.

Beckett shrugged, "I convinced the doctor that if I went to physical therapy for a few days longer than necessary then I could leave early," she told him, threading her arm through his as they turned around and walked back into the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor.

"When did they say you can be cleared to go back to work?" he asked, smirking slightly. He knew that was the one thing she wanted to know, the physical therapy and PTSD from the shooting be damned.

Beckett frowned, "Not until the therapist clears me for duty," she explained quietly, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. She hadn't talked to Castle about the nightmares, but she knew he knew about them. Some nights when he would be over at the hospital, which was basically every night and most of the day, ("Hey, I'm a writer, I can work from anywhere so why not a hospital as I make sure my muse gets better?") she would wake up to the constant tap of the keys on his keyboard as he typed up the next chapter in their story. It was a calming presence to her, seeing him still there and still the way he has always been, and she would turn on her side when the wires were removed from her and looked at him as he wrote, seeing the smirk when he noticed she was awake, and went back into as calm a sleep as she could. But then there were nights when she would be so scared, so shaken up, that the only thing that would let her fall asleep again would be for Castle to hold her as she fell asleep.

The nightmares weren't all the same so there was no way that she could just force her to get used to it and move on. Sometimes the nightmares were of her being shot at the funeral, some were of Captain's death, and some, tending to be the worst at times, imagining the people she loved replacing herself as the one shot. Those tended to be the worst when she saw the ones she loved most taking her place and almost losing her life.

Castle spoke up, bringing her back to the present, "Do you want to go back to the loft or do you want to go see the guys?" he asked, looking at her to try and judge her reaction. He didn't know what offering to see the guys would do, if it would hurt more than her want to go back and help people, but he knew that it would help her to feel better. The nightmares he knew were the worst were of the guys and Lanie and even himself replacing her, so he thought seeing them in person would help.

Kate looked at him, smiling widely and eyes sparkling in relief and gratitude as she reached up to kiss his cheek, "Thank you," she said, laying her head on his shoulder and threading her fingers through his.

When they entered the precinct, she was welcomed warmly by her friends and co-workers that were glad to see her alive and well. She breathed in deeply and felt immensely calmer by being surrounded by the familiarity of her day to day life. "You glad to be back?" Castle teased.

Beckett nodded and squeezed his hand again, "Thank you so much for this," she told him before walking over to Ryan and Espo, both guys hugging her tightly. Castle watched as she interacted with her team and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. This was the Katherine Beckett he fell in love with, the one that had his writing juices flowing again and put him back on top after the thought he was done for when he killed off Derek Storm. He didn't know where he'd be now if it weren't for Kate Beckett, but looking back at how he was before her, he really didn't want to know. He liked who he was now.

"Mr. Castle, are you with us?" the new 12th Precinct Captain, Victoria Gates, asked, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. Her eyes looked as hard as stele and gave away nothing other than her annoyance at Castle, though he'd known that from day one. She wasn't very…discrete on her thoughts of his use to the precinct.

"Yes, Captain? What can I do for you this fine morning?" he asked, putting on the cocky charm and smile that was known for melting women across the world.

"You can tell me what you and Detective Beckett are doing here? Aren't you supposed to be resting?" she asked, turning to Beckett with her last question.

Beckett blushed slightly and bit her lip, "Well, sir, I just…I wanted to see everyone," she offered, shrugging.

"Well, Detective, not that I don't love your visit, I would prefer that you let us do our work and you to get better so that you can get back to your great work," she said before turning and walking back into her office.

Beckett looked at Ryan and Espo, both guys trying not to outright laugh at Gates' brush off of her, and elbowed them, "I'll see you later guys," she said, the laughter seeping into her voice, and hugged them both before walking away.

It wasn't until much later that things went…a little crazy. Castle and Beckett were in the loft sitting on the couch watching a movie with Alexis and Martha when Castle's phone rang. "Hello?" he answered. Castle was silent for a moment and when Beckett turned to look at him, she felt ice grip her heart. Castle's eyes were wide, his face ashen white and it looked as if he had stopped breathing.

When Castle saw her watching, he motioned her over and simply handed her the phone, "Hello?" she asked.

"Hello, Kate," the familiar voice answered.

Kate felt her heart stop and her throat burn, her eyes watering as she went over the two words that just sent her world spinning. "M…Montgomery?" she asked, turning to look at Castle and reaching for his hand.

**Surprise!**


	4. Chapter 3

**This chapter will introduce a case they get two weeks after Montgomery calls Castle and Beckett and about four weeks after Kate woke up, and they bring in Ryan and Esposito to help. Hope you all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own any rights to Castle or its characters, I only own the first four books and the first two seasons on DVD.**

Two weeks later and she's still reeling from that phone call. It shocked her to her very core and made her look at everyone suspiciously. If Montgomery had had to fake his own death so he could, as he said, 'help from the underground with no one looking', then she wondered who it was he was trying to hide from. Who he was trying to keep off his trail and, as he stated, her trail as well.

_"Question everything, Kate. You don't know who it is you're dealing with. They're powerful, more powerful than you could even imagine, and it goes way beyond the precinct. Trust only Ryan and Esposito and Castle. They're the good guys. Other than that, I've never been sure," he had told her._

That was all he would say. No 'I'm sorry about worrying you when I supposedly died, I'm sorry you got shot at my funeral', he didn't explain anything to her about how he even did it. All she guessed was that a friend of his had been on the inside of this and had taken the shot instead of others and that he had worn protection against the bullet with something that looked like blood under so it would look like he bled out. It was a good cover if you didn't look closer, which she guessed the people behind it didn't want them to look closer so quickly hushed it up.

"Kate?" she heard a quiet voice near her.

Beckett jumped and turned her head slightly to see Castle sitting in his seat, looking at her with the same tense, questioning expression she could practically feel mirrored in her own. The two of them had become very conspiratorial since the phone call. And they hadn't even told Ryan and Esposito yet. "Yeah, sorry, I was a bit—"

"Out of it? Yeah, I know how that feels. I can't stop wondering if the people I see, the people I talk to, had something to do with it and…why. Why they would do this," he finished, a deep frown replacing his usual smile and a small crease in the middle of his forehead.

"I don't know, Castle," she whispered, feeling her own frown settle deeper and her heart drop even more as she looked around at the people she had thought of as a second family, "I would think, if I had to guess, that it was about money or maybe covering something up, but I can't think of anything they could have done." She turned to Castle and felt the tears sting her eyes, "I've known these people for years, Rick, and…and I can't believe they would do anything bad much less kill our captain and be working for the person that killed my mother."

Castle reached over and held her hand tightly in his, brushing his thumb in a circle against the back of her hand, "Maybe it's not all of them, Kate. Maybe it's just a few that aren't even in this department of the precinct. We'll have to look deeper to figure that out but, well…we need help to do that," he told her, grimacing as he knew what she would say even before he finished his sentence. After the call, they'd had a long conversation, or more an argument really, about bringing Ryan and Esposito into this like Montgomery had asked, but she refused. She knew she could trust them completely, that wasn't the issue though. The issue was that she didn't want to put them in the line of fire. She knew she had a large target on her back and guessed that now Castle did too, and she didn't want to endanger any of the others. She refused to.

"I know, but…I can't do that to them Castle. I can't make them as paranoid as I feel right now so…drop it? Please?" she asked.

Castle looked at her for a moment, trying to gouge her feelings from the expressions on her face and in her eyes, and nodded, "Alright," he said, "I won't say anything about it until you're ready because wither you like it or not they're going to be brought into this one day."

Kate was about to respond when Ryan came in talking on his phone, "Gates just called," he told her, referring to their new captain, Victoria Gates, "we got a case."

Beckett nodded, standing up and grabbing her jacket, "They may be brought into it, but it sure as hell won't be today," she told him before they followed Ryan out to the front of the building where Esposito sat waiting in his car. Ryan jumped in the car with him as Beckett followed in her own with Castle riding shotgun.

**LINE BREAK**

The body that awaited them seemed to cry out foul play. It was a female, twenty-five, Caucasian with blond hair and blue eyes, five foot eight at the most it seemed. She was dressed in a grey pencil skirt, a white button up shirt with a black undershirt, her hair was pulled up in a bun and her make-up smeared, while her black pumps still lying on the ground beside the chair she sat slumped in. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open in its final scream, and a large pool of blood flowed from the center of her white blouse. But, something nagged at the back of Kate's mind and made her wonder if she'd ever seen this woman before.

"Detective Beckett, I didn't know you were back at work yet," Lanie said, smiling as she stood up from her post beside the victim and hugged her friend.

Beckett smiled, "Yeah, I've been back for a few days, I've just been kept on desk work," she explained, shrugging before turning to the guys, "What have we got?" she asked.

Esposito was the one who spoke first, "Her name's Miranda Smith, she's twenty-five, lives here with her boyfriend Henry Sage who's thirty and hasn't been seen since last night."

"I found this under the chair," Lanie said, holding up a sharpened steak knife covered in blood, "and it seems to be the murder weapon, but the stab wound doesn't match up completely to my estimation though I'll look into it later. My best guess for the time window would be about 10 P.M. to 2 A.M. this morning."

Kate nodded, "Anything about where she works?" she asked.

Ryan and Esposito had been looking around in the other rooms but right when Kate finished her sentence, Ryan called out to her, "Beckett! You'll want to see this!" he called.

Kate walked into the other room, seeming to be her office, and looked at what Ryan held out to her and feeling her blood run cold. It was a picture of Miranda when she was a teenager it seemed in a law firm with her mentor beside her.

"That…wow," Castle said beside her, his own eyes as wide as Kate's.

"That's…that's my mother," she said, reaching out to take the photo from Ryan. She looked at Miranda's face closer and frowned, "I…Miranda was an intern that my mother had taken on because she thought she was brilliant. We sort of…we were sort of friends before my Mom…before she was…"

Kate didn't need to finish the sentence. They could guess what had happened from there. When her mother was murdered, Miranda would have been there for her in the beginning, but after numerous tries and a young Kate Beckett wanting to cut her ties to many people in her mother's life because the memories were too raw, she had lost contact with her. "When was the last time you talked to her, Kate?" Esposito asked.

Kate thought back, all her memories in the months, even the first two years after that day; a little fuzzy at times from the numbness she had felt. "About…two years after my Mom's murder. She had called to wish me and my Dad a happy Christmas, but we didn't answer. The first few years around that time were the worst for us."

Castle reached for her hand and squeezed it gently, "It's alright, Kate," he muttered, pulling her gently to him and wrapping his arms around her waist as she laid her head on his chest while Esposito and Ryan went into the other room to give them some space.

Kate shook her head, "Castle, no it's not. This is a woman that was connected to my mother. If anything, this seems to be a warning or a show to me that she was getting too close or they could rip at the wound whenever they wanted. I don't know. I just…I think you're right," she told him all in a rush, her eyes wide and glassy with the threat of tears. When Castle raised an eyebrow in question she continued, "I think we need to tell Ryan and Espo. We need all the help we can get with not just this but figuring out who it is."

Castle nodded, "Tonight, if that's alright. We'll tell them tonight."

Kate nodded and went to join her team in the living room.

**LINE BREAK**

It was around eight that night when Espo and Ryan showed up at Castle's loft. It took all of ten minutes for it all to spill from Kate and Castle's mouth, neither really realizing how much they had wanted to tell the two until they finally did.

At first, the two were shocked beyond the point of speaking. All they did was look between the two and try to divulge if they were telling some sick joke or not. "You mean to tell us," Esposito said after a few moments of silence, "that the captain's alive and went underground because the people who killed your Mom knew he was looking into it too much and wanted to take him out before he could find out everything?"

Castle nodded, "We got the call two weeks ago. He explained as much as he could to us and told us that there were even some in the 12th, I'm not sure if it's your department or the 12th in general, were in on it too, and that there were numerous people that had been in Kate's life that could have been a part of this. The only thing is that we don't know who it could be."

"Did he say anything else?" Ryan asked.

Kate nodded, "He said to trust you two, that he knew you two were good." Kate could see their anger when she said that and quickly continued, "I didn't want to tell you because I know that I already have a huge target on my back, Castle too, but I didn't want to put that burden on you both as well. I didn't want to ask you two to do more than you already do for me."

Esposito laughed, "Katherine Houghton Beckett," he said, making Kate smile a little at the use of her full name, "that has to be the sorriest excuse I've ever heard."

Kate laughed fully, wiping away a small tear as Ryan agreed with his partner, "We're all in, Beckett. If these people want to come after you, they'll have to come through us first."

Kate smiled as she looked at her three guys. She felt her heart swell and felt hopeful about this. That maybe, with the four of them working together, five when they included Lanie of course, maybe they could do this. They could put this to rest after all these years or, and this was a strong possibility, die trying.


	5. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the wait for this chapter. I'd been having a hint of writer's block for the past few days, but I'd like to thank you all for liking this story and reviewing and etc. It really puts a smile on my face. **

**So, here is the fourth chapter. This will reveal one person who's working with her mother's killer and, since I haven't mentioned it before I guess I will now so you guys get a free spoiler if some of you aren't caught up with the season 5 premier. This story will keep with the person behind her mother's murder, but it will spread the network of who was in on it and who wasn't. **

**Disclaimer: Once again, Castle and anything affiliated with the show does not belong to me, nor to I pretend it does. **

**XOXO**

Seeing how great the grief was on Henry Sage's face made her flinch from her place in the observation room. It hit too close to the look on Castle's face when she had been shot; how close to tears he was, how desperate he was to keep her with him, how his voice had cracked when he said he loved her. It hurt her, so she was a little glad that Gates had taken her at least from the interrogation, claiming she was too close to the murder even though she hadn't seen Miranda in 12 years.

"You alright?" Castle asked quietly, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Kate leaned back into his chest and nodded, pulling his arms closer around her, "I think," she muttered, biting her lip and seeing the hint of their reflection in the two way mirror.

"What's wrong?" he asked, settling his chin on her shoulder.

Kate turned to look at him smiling slightly and nuzzling her nose against his, "I keep thinking…about that day. He...he reminds me…reminds me of you. How you looked when I was…when I was…well, you know," she muttered, feeling her face heat up. She didn't want to remind him of that day, they had actually made an agreement to never mention that day again, but here was the reminder. The second reminder really. The PTSD hadn't been so bad, or at least she'd tried to make him think it wasn't, but she knew he could see past it. See the pain and the fear in her eyes when she would wake up in the middle of the night at times, her body slick with sweat and her clothes sticking to her skin as her heart beat wildly in her chest and her breath came in short gasps. For a few moments after she would wake up, she was still in the dream until she felt Castle wrap his arms around her and hold her to him, whispering over and over that she was safe, that he was there, and that it was alright. It wasn't really the promises that calmed her down but his voice. It was the greatest means of calming her than the psychiatrist that Gates had ordered her to see the day after she was released from the hospital.

Castle nodded and nuzzled against her neck, "Yeah, that wasn't my finest hour. I'm just glad you made it out alright. I can't tell you how relieved I was when the doctor came out and told us that you would be alright."

"Yeah, I'm a bit relieved about that too," she said, hoping to make him laugh and smiling when it did.

When Esposito and Ryan walked into the room, they both went silent and listened to the interrogation. It was the normal things, asking where he was, why he was seen fleeing from the crime scene, and if there had been any fights between the two lately.

Henry Sage was adamant to say that he had loved Miranda completely and that he hadn't even gone to the apartment before hearing something and running, but that was when it got interesting. "The thing was, though, the guy caught up with me. I don't know how, but he did," he told them.

Esposito and Ryan exchanged a look before going with the thread, "Did you know him?" Ryan asked, opening to a blank page in his notebook to write down the name.

He would be disappointed, though. "I didn't know him, but I can describe him."

The partners quickly picked up on that and asked him to describe the guy as best he could: five foot seven, Caucasian, looking about early to mid thirties. The guy had black hair that at the time was sticking to his face due to sweat, and was wearing medical scrubs.

Kate straightened and felt Castle stiffening behind her. They both knew exactly who it was. And, from the look on Ryan and Esposito's faces, they did too. Kate turned to Castle and silently begged with her eyes before he nodded and she stepped away from him, grabbing her phone and looking through the photos that she still had, but hadn't looked at since the breakup.

She quickly stepped from one room to the other and pulled up a chair next to Henry Sage, "Mr. Sage," she said as she got the picture she was looking for, "is this the man you met?" she asked.

Henry looked at the picture and nodded after only a few seconds, "Yeah, that's him. That's the guy."

Kate nodded and quickly left the room, hugging Castle tightly when she saw him and felt him wrap his arms around her waist, "I…do you think…?" she couldn't find it in herself to finish the sentence. It hurt too much that someone she had put the effort into for a relationship would do this. Would possibly be connected to this case. It was just…it was crazy.

"I don't know, Kate. I don't know," he muttered, holding her closer.

Kate nuzzled her head into his chest, closing her eyes as she tried not to think of everything that could not only connect him to this murder but also her mothers. She knew there was only a slight connection between the two, the only thing really being that Miranda had worked with her mother, but she couldn't help but wonder if there was something bigger than just a slight connection.

After taking a deep breath, she stepped away from him and looked around the break room before spotting the cappuccino maker. She really needed coffee right now.

**LINE BREAK**

Esposito and Ryan were treating her as if she were going to burst at any moment. Like they expected her to go off and scream at the top of her lungs and punch something.

Finally, somewhere near lunch time, she turned to them after having felt their gazes on the back of her neck, "What the hell, guys?" she snapped, turning on her heel to glare at them with a raised eyebrow, one hand on her hip. The two knew that look well. It was her 'no bullshit' look and they had been at the end of it multiple times, but this one was more meaningful it seemed. They knew she had no affection for Josh other than as an ex-boyfriend, but she would still feel hurt. This was someone she had put her trust and time into. Someone that she had, as all three knew, trusted as a safer option than a certain mystery writer and had tried to make their relationship work even when her heart wasn't fully into it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Beckett. Do you, Espo?" Ryan asked, giving his partner a look that clearly said to tell her a flat out lie. That they weren't worried about her with this new betrayal.

Kate sighed and closed her eyes for a second, "Guys," she said, pulling her chair up to them and leaning forward so their conversation wasn't overheard, "I understand you're worried, thanks by the way, but…I can't focus on it much. I have to be able to pin this on Josh, we have to arrest him, and then have to get a confession from him. I can't think about the fact that my ex is behind this and that it feels like…like an old friend betrayed me." She waited for them to show their acknowledgment of her words and when they nodded, she went on, "I don't feel anything for him anymore in the way I thought I had, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a little. If anything, like I said before, this only feels like a friend's betrayal. So stop treating me like a coddled little child. I'll be fine," she promised.

Ryan and Esposito both looked a little sorry for it, but nodded, "Sorry," they said simultaneously.

Kate nodded and stood up again, "So, we have a statement from Henry Sage telling us that Josh was there, I have Lanie looking over Miranda's body to see if there was any DNA evidence he was there, but did any of you call to ask him in?" she asked, turning to them. She silently begged every entity she knew of that one of them had reached out to him. She didn't want to make this call herself.

Esposito nodded, "Yeah, I tried to call, but he wasn't there. I tried his cell phone, but he didn't pick that one up either," he explained.

She could feel her previously tense body relax and smiled, "Now we wait, I guess," she told them, looking over the murder board to see if she could find anything else to link Josh to the murder until Lanie came back with the results.

Castle came in twenty minutes later, having been on a lunch run for them, and the minute he sat down, her phone rang. "Hello?" she asked immediately, feeling her heart pound in her chest.

"Hey, it's me." Lanie said, "I went over Ms. Smith's body again and tried to get any indication of what the murder weapon could be as well as to see if Doctor Motorcycle Boy," Lanie and Kate both laughed a little at Castle's much used nickname for Josh, "and…well, Kate…"

"Lanie, just give me the news," she begged.

Ryan and Esposito both rolled over to the desk, exchanging a worried look with Castle as they waited with baited breath for the news they knew was coming.

Kate didn't say anything as Lanie delivered her update, but they saw the color flush out of her face, turning her as white as a sheet. She nodded, thanking Lanie with a barely contained quiver in her voice, and hung up the phone. Kate leaned back in her chair and bit her lip, crossing her arms. Her eyes were glazed over, but they could see the threat of tears and see her lip quivering. It was the final nail in the coffin.

"He did it," she told them, her voice barely above a whisper, "he…he killed Miranda and…and he used…he used…"

"It was the same knife, wasn't it?" Castle asked gently.

Kate turned to him and nodded, breathing in deeply, "Not the same one, but one like it," she explained. When Ryan and Esposito asked her for an explanation, she then turned to them and took a deep breath, "Josh used the same knife, or a knife that was similar, to the one that killed my mother."

She was given shocked looks, slack jaws, and utter silence as her reply

**A/N: This is not my shipping even the tiniest bit of Josh/Beckett's relationship. This is just my way of trying to write how she would feel if someone she had put the time and effort into being with betrayed her. I repeat, this is by no means showing Kate having any leftover feelings for Josh. **

**Just thought I'd clear that up XOXO**


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorry that it took so long to write this new chapter. I've been trying to figure out how best to move this along so it wasn't dragging out, and this is the best way I could think. I think after this there might be either somewhere between two to three or four more chapters. I don't know as of right now, but hopefully I'll have a vague outline of it by the time I post the chapter after this.**

**I don't believe I've said this since the second chapter, but thank you so very very much to all of you that have liked and favorite and seem to really enjoy this story. It really does make my day. **

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own anything that has to do with Castle. That belongs to ABC and Andrew Marlow. **

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**XOXO and a Happy New Year to you all! **

It was months later now. Miranda Smith's murder was resolved, checking his story against witness accounts claiming Henry had walked out of the apartment with the bloody knife in his hands and blood seeming to cover his clothes. No one seemed to draw up an image of a man chasing after him who only wanted to 'talk', so Josh's part in this was brushed under the rug to Gates' happiness and smugness. She had warned them that it would come to nothing. That it was a stupid lead to follow.

But, that wasn't the weird part. The minute the case was done, the information was filed and put away to gather dust in the stacks, Josh disappeared and Henry Sage was found in his cell hung by his ripped up bed sheets, supposedly suicide, but Kate guessed differently. Kate tried to get Gates to see there was still something connecting the two of them, something no one else could see but she felt was still there, and that Henry Sage hadn't killed himself off free will, but she was brushed aside. Told that she was over thinking it because someone, not Lanie she knew, had told someone else that the knife wound was a match for the knife that killed her mother. Now, she seemed like a conspirator.

That was when Castle suggested the trip to the Hamptons. She wasn't very keen on the idea, she didn't want to leave the precinct just to be sure that something didn't come in to add to the puzzle she was just putting together. But, after a few days of begging and pleading and light pushing from the boys, she agreed and within hours of her agreement, they were at Castle's Hampton house.

It was not very easy, though, to settle down. She was seeing things she knew wasn't there or coming up with a new idea every moment. They had decided to stay two weeks, but within three days she was bored, on edge, and felt like she was driving Castle crazy. She knew he was worried about her, fearing that she was about ten seconds away from a mental breakdown, so he did the only thing he could. He made a call.

"Hello?" Kate asked when Castle handed her the phone on the fourth night of their stay.

"Katie, you need to calm down," Montgomery said on the other end, seeming exasperated with her, "I didn't tell you to watch your back only for you to jump at every closed door or every new person."

"But what—"

"But what if they're part of it, yes I understand, but you have to stop from jumping prematurely. It won't help. You'll give yourself away and then they'll act and that wouldn't be good for either you or the guys," Montgomery interrupted, his tone suggesting that she listen without argument.

Kate took a deep breath and nodded, "Alright, I'll try to calm down," she promised.

"See that you do, Katie," he told her, though it sounded more so of an order, before hanging up.

Kate leaned against the wall of the hallway where she stood before slipping down to the ground and bringing her knees up to her chest. "Are you alright?" Rick asked, walking up the stairs to sit across from her and nudging her foot with his, smiling when he saw her small smile.

"Yeah, I'm good," she told him, reaching over for his hand, "It's just…I don't know what I could do. Every time I turn around I can't help asking myself if it was really an accident when I bump into someone on the street, or if the guy at the coffee shop looks a bit dodgy, or if my own Captain is selling me out to someone. I hate it Rick. I don't know what to do," she finally admitted, biting her lip.

Rick moved to sit next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, "I love you," he whispered, squeezing her shoulder gently, "I love you and I swear I won't let anything happen to you."

Kate knew she could argue and say that he really couldn't make that promise, but she chose instead to allow herself to nestle into his arms and be comforted for now.

She only wished the peace would last a little longer.

**LINE BREAK **

They had decided to stay another week, figuring with how long it took to get Kate to calm down, so it was officially day one of their second week of their three week mini vacation. Rick had gone back into the city to get some files Kate had asked for, figuring she'd get some paperwork done while she was there considering he was using the time to write more as well. It was around one in the afternoon, she was in the living room watching some repeats of Temptation Lane when the phone rang. She looked beside her for her cell phone, but realizing it wasn't there quickly remembered it was in the kitchen where she left it after having made herself a sandwich for lunch.

"Hello?" she asked upon answering it.

"Detective Beckett, I believe it is high time we meet," a disguised voice answered on the other end. At that same moment, she felt the cold metal of a gun against the back of her head. "Now, if you'll be so kind as to let my men put you in the car. And please, Detective, don't try to be clever. Leave no trace of yourself or my men and we will let Mr. Castle and your friends stay clear of this. I give you my word," the person promised before hanging up.

"Out you go," the man behind her head, roughly turning her around and pushing her towards the door.

Kate took a deep breath to keep herself calm, knowing she would be no good to her friends if she was panicking, and allowed him to herd her towards the car that waited for them. Inside were three other men with similar guns held in their laps, but all had ski masks covering their faces so she couldn't see anything but their eyes. Looking in the mirror, she noticed the driver was dressed similarly.

"Where are you taking me?" she finally asked after a few moments on the road.

"To the boss," one man said, and she could see the faint hint of a smirk under the mask.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N : Sorry I've made you all wait for this chapter so long and that it's so short. I just haven't had much incentive to write lately and I've been sort of blocked where this story went. But, with this chapter, I wanted to get the latest reveal out of the way and where they just say 'fuck it' and go after Castle as well. **

** P.S. there is a few choice words in this, only two or three, so if it offends you, just bleep it out. **

** Disclaimer: I do not own Castle nor pretend that I do.**

** Hope you all enjoy this chapter and I am once again sorry that this is so short and, possibly, terrible. I promise the next chapter will be better. **

She wakes up, or becomes more aware again, sometime later. The first thing she notices is that the blindfold is still over her eyes, but the material is thin enough that she can see a faint glow of light behind it. She feels a faint hint of a breeze and smells the salty air that accompanies being near the ocean. Then, she hears the voices. It was two people arguing and once she hears them, she focuses more, choosing them as the focal point to bring her back. At first it's muddled, as if she were underwater and they were yelling at her above water, trying to get her to come back. "I want first hit. The bitch fucking broke up with me for that damn childish idiotic writer. All those months spent wasted on her and she fucking dumps me!" she hears a voice. From the words, she realizes the voice is Josh's and she feels that stab in her heart again that someone she thought she could trust so much betrayed her so quickly.

"But the bitch bloody put me in lockup! I should get first hit," another voice, one she barely remembered as a murderer she had put away in Castle's first year there.

"Gentlemen, please. Our guest is waking up," a voice, a very feminine voice, said gently but firmly. Both men quieted at her voice and Beckett stiffened at the very familiar voice. It couldn't be. They wouldn't do this to her. They wouldn't betray her that thoroughly.

"No," she found herself whispering, closing her eyes and trying to block out her surroundings. She hated this. It felt like another stab to the heart.

There was a sound of footsteps, the heels of her boots clicking on the concrete of the ground as she got closer and closer to her. Then, the blindfold was finally taken off. "Hello, Detective," Victoria Gates said with a wicked grin, "welcome back."

**LINE BREAK**

Castle hadn't meant to be gone for the whole day, his mother had said something about needing help with something in her school, and Alexis said that one of her university professors wanted to have a talk with him to tell him that Alexis was going to be recommended for an award. She had made all A's that semester and had the highest GPA in her class, so they wanted to reward her for that. When he ended up finally getting back to the Hamptons house, it was dark. The living room, as well as some of the other rooms in the house, was dark and he figured that Kate had gone to bed, but when he went up to their room, she wasn't there. He thought for a moment that she had just gone to get some food, that she would be back soon, but then he saw her phone lying on the ground, the screen cracked from being dropped.

He picked it up and instantly became worried. Every thought in his mind screamed for him to call the guys, but if this was going to be a kidnapping and ransom, he couldn't involve them. They were police and as the old cliché, 'don't go to the police or we'll kill him/her'. So, he waited. And waited. And waited.

He didn't realize he had stayed up all morning until he finally got a call at five in the morning. He answered quickly and stiffened when he heard the voice on the other end, "Did you worry enough last night Mr. Castle?" Victoria Gates asked.

"Wh…what the hell?" he asked, his voice incredulous.

"Yes, yes, you're so shocked; you can't believe I've done it, blah, blah, blah. Your bitch of a girlfriend already told me all that. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? Yes, I have Detective Beckett, yes, this has to do with her mother's death, and yes I took her because I wanted to get some information. Do you want to know what that information is, Mr. Castle?"

"What?" he hissed, his anger towards the woman he had previously come to respect clear in his voice.

"I want to know how long you've known Captain Montgomery was alive and what he told you. How deep you've gotten into all of this," Gates asked him.

Castle was about to argue with her, say that he had no idea what she was talking about, when she 'tutted' on the other end, "Please, Mr. Castle, don't insult my intelligence. I've known Captain Roy Montgomery was alive since I took this job. All I needed, though, was for you or Detective Beckett or one of those stupid other two in your little gang to sell him out and I'd finish what my collegue couldn't. Now, if you'd be so kindly as to go with my boys, I believe there's someone who wants to see you," Gates ordered.

Castle frowns for a second before hearing a gun set behind his head and turned around to see two men in black suits behind him, both with guns in their hands. They held out their hand for Beckett's phone and when he handed it over, roughly pulled him from his spot on the couch and dragged him outside to a waiting car.

He didn't know what was going on, but he knew they were basically screwed. Especially when they injected him with some sort of liquid and his vision started to blur before e was out like a light.


End file.
